Chicken Mammogram


Get your pitchforks and torches, you are about to become apart of an angry mob. Why? This is another chicken post. Before you click off this recipe has a big perk; you get the pound the snot out of chicken. It is just a fabulous way to vent out all the frustrations of the day/week/month, just be careful not to over do it otherwise instead of a nicely flattened boobie you might end up with mangled bits of meat that might be better suited for a Gwar concert or horror movie set. I enjoy this one again as instead of getting frustrated while I cook and end up swearing I get it all out before I even start cooking, it also requires very little prep which is a HUGE bonus in my books. Plus it makes you look like a savvy kitchen genius. Another gem from Mom edited and adjusted by me.

Mom’s Asparagus Pesto Chicken

AKA: The Chicken Mammogram

Kitchen stuff you’ll need:

  • Oven or convection toaster oven, 9×13 pan (best for 6 boobs…. an 8×8 would work for 4 boobs), a meat tenderizer (it looks like a mallet), a cutting board, sharp knife (whatever size you are comfortable with, you don’t need it for much), possibly a cheese grater unless you cut up bits of cheese with a knife instead. Oh and a large freezer bag, and 2 plates.

Ingredients:

  • Chicken Breasts (I use 6)
  • 5 Spears of Asparagus per piece of Chicken (in my case for 6 boobs = 30) with the hard bits snapped off and washed
  • 1/4 cup of mozza approx. per chicken breast (or provolone or your preferred cheese or blend of cheese)
  • 1 Jar of Basil Pesto sauce (I use Classico)
  • fresh parmesan cheese (optional)

Note: The pesto sauce comes in a small jar, do not be alarmed, this would cover 12 chicken breasts, I made the mistake of putting my spoon inside the jar after it touched raw chicken so I HAD to dump the whole thing on the boobs otherwise I could have made do with just half the jar.

Directions:

  • Preheat Oven to 375 degrees
  • Flatten the breasts one at a time inside the freezer bag using the FLAT end of the meat tenderizer mallet and a cutting board (to save your surface from oddly shaped divets from your tenderizer depending on how hard you pummel the chicken). They should be about 1/4″ thick all over by the time you are done. I do them all at once to get it out of the way & pile them on a plate. You can sprinkle them with your preferred seasoning or just salt & pepper. I keep it simple and leave them naked for the time being.
  • Shred your cheese and put your asparagus into groups of 5.
  • Put a flattened boob on your spare plate, top with 5 spears of asparagus almost centered, sprinkle with your cheese, and roll the breast over the cheese & asparagus encasing them. Place in your oven dish and repeat until all your boobs are stuffed.
  • Next drizzle the breasts with pesto sauce as much or as little as you like. At this point you can also sprinkle with parmesan cheese or more mozza or not. Make it yours, fiddle with it until you find your favorite.
  • Place in the oven for about 40 minutes (or more or less depending on your oven and quantity of breasts. Ensure that no pink juice runs out when you poke them with a fork. If you have an instant thermometer the centre should read about 165 degrees F. I don’t have one of those I just uses my e-balls to determine no pink.

Good luck and happy eating

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