Category Archives: Challenge

Improvise, a battle & an appliance obituary.

Well that didn’t go according to plan, at all. 

Everyday coming up with something for dinner can sometimes be a struggle, other days a battle to the death and there are times the heavens open up & produce a miracle where everything just falls together in one great stroke of genius. The latter occurs too few whilst  the battle royale occurs almost daily. Today was definately one of those days, I can still feel my frustration & despair ebbing under the surface of my skin, my lips are pursed into a thin line, today dinner won by a knockout  & I didn’t even see it coming. Dinner was a total douchebag, throwing cheap shots, followed by a brutal sucker punch.

In reality I didn’t pay attention, I made assumptions and had too much faith in what I thought I had on hand. Well it should have been an easy win, it was chicken after all & I famously write about chicken far too often. Piece of cake, or so I thought. I planned on a quick, easy & delicious jammy jam chicken. I went to the store, picked up the meat & came home. Imagine my disappointment when I rudely discovered I had no apricot jam, which was a vital ingredient, and then no Catalina dressing. This was the moment I realized I inadvertently stepped into a fight, I cursed, cursed some more & grabbed a handful of cookbooks I knew somewhere inside one of them I had to have enough of something to make a dinner delicious enough that even the pickiest of eaters would  slop it down. Page after page was turned, all the while muttering about the *&%$ing chicken, how the &%$*% was I going to cook the -&%$ing chicken!! A glimmer of hope occurred when I happened upon a homemade honey garlic sauce for wings but I knew it would work for the cuts I had picked up earlier.

Thinking I was on my way to a victory I bounced around my kitchen gathering & adding ingredients to the blender where once I whizz it around masterfully pulverizing the ingredients into a delicious sauce. Until the *&&%$ing blender decided that it was going to $%&* the bed. I was outwitted by a blender, try as I might I could not get my trusty friend to whiz even just a little bit. Instead I was given the weakest death cry I have ever heard from a kitchen appliance; the bastard.

Like a certified wuss & kitchen half wit, I called my S.O. to tell my tale of woe, curse the chicken some more, & discuss the blenders obituary. I thought it was over and was about to ask for fast food re-enforcements until there was another blow, he was going to be later than expected. Evil dinner really threw a curve ball, I really wasn’t expecting that one. Determined ever more so now not to give up on a delicious meal & saving my diet, I gathered my weapons & returned to the battlefield. There I found 2 forgotten friends, honey & Dijon who had a little back up with butter & curry powder. The winds changed in my favor and now, fingers crossed, there is a fabulous chicken dish slaving away in the oven.


Blender 2009 – 2012

Here lies blender, whizzer of purees, soups, sauces & even almond tortes. It will be sadly missed by me. Predeceased by the frying pan whom was murdered by my hands on the kitchen counter top.


Evening edit: I petrified the chicken, completely burned, more than a crisp. Fossilized on my favorite oven dish.

Pyrex 9×13 pan – 2009-2012 defeated in an epic battle against chicken. Will be missed by me. Predeceased by blender & frying pan.


excuses for no excuse

In all honesty there is no excuse for my not writing once a week, I missed last week even though I DESPERATLY wanted to get on here and type my tiny little heart out however my day job amped up AND my business amped up at the same time not to mention the family stuff and plain ol fatigue.

I do have several things to write about (if I haven’t already mentioned my hand), I did attempt this Friday night when I was waiting for a very old and dear and VERY pregnant friend for coffee. In which I was using the tiniest keyboard I have ever used which makes my fingers look like sausages and I am constantly pressing the wrong buttons then as she walked in the door I too quickly closed the page and thus my painstaking hard work and tiny words were lost in the underverse of the internets. (insert LONG sympathetic sigh here).

Finally here I am several days late explaining why I am so late. The other factor is, I almost have to be in the mood (which I am so often in the WRONG situation) and of course my best ideas strike right when I am stressed and in the middle of something VERY important. I am glad I was never commissioned for anything like Michalangelo was, I would never get anything done. The ceiling of the Sistine would be a sun dyed white to date. Alas I am here and I am writing that counts for something right??? As mom always said “No excuses”  and in all honesty there is no such thing as a good excuse. The fact is I should have remained committed to both blogs and wrote my heart out no matter the hour in the evening. So my dear flakies I apologise for my absence.

Well my nights in the kitchen have been interesting to say the least, I nearly sliced off my hand, I screamed and swore at pizza dough and I burned my face off 3 times in one week. It was BAD, for some reason most of the fam didn’t mind what I called “epic fails” they liked the extra heat in my dishes and no one died so that is a good sign too. In nearly slicing off my hand the knife skills I was teaching myself went by the wayside, I was attempting at halving a butternut squash in half to stuff with vegetarian chili luckily hubs was there to point out I was about to cut my hand off, and in a nasty way because I also discovered cutting a squash, let alone 3 of them, is really tough business.

I have since learned from my dear facebook friends (who occasionally are a wealth of knowledge when they aren’t being absolutly hysterical on thier status updates) that if you ask the produce department very nicely they will go and cut the squash for you.

I learned that one cannot substitute chipotle chili powder for regular chili powder, it doesn’t even subsitute when you halve it. Whenever one sticks it in the dish it will end up burning my face off (for spicey heat wimps like me).

Be wary of zests and how much you put in. I’ve experimented with lemons, limes and now oranges (the latter being the WORST) and always pay special attention to just how much fresh zest to put in the dish. I recommend that when orange zest and sweet potato are to be mixed with sour cream AND butter just to ignore the orange part…. and maybe the sour cream. I can’t describe what happened in my mouth though I don’t think anything can be as bad as a durian. (Apologies to those who love the durian!)

When making your favorite soup, don’t make it if you don’t have what you need to give it actual flavor, I ended up with beans in slightly flavored water which wasn’t appetizing at all.

Did I mention DON’T **&(^*^&%$ with orange zest?

So always make sure your knives are sharp, cut away from yourself, don’t stick your hand under the blade. Don’t mess with orange zest, its more punch in a teaspoon than Brock Lesner. To burn your face-off add copious amounts of Chipotle Chili powder to recipes that call for regular chili powder. If there are no parmesan cheese rinds, fresh thyme, or rosemary about, skip the soup (if it is a veggie or light chicken flavored one).

And the best part, make time for your friends, tell the ones you love them and say something positive to yourself and someone who needs it. Which in my experience is everyone.

Happy Eating!

More catastrophes, near misses & pant-seat-flying coming your way!

Hello my dear unburnt, golden, lightly toasted, and charcoaled cornflakes (or should I write “readers”….. nah!) I am making an announcement.

I have once again signed myself up for an impossible task… well not impossible but something I am HOPING to successfully complete and will have fun doing. It’s not writing another novel in a month (afterall it is not November).

I am undertaking the WordPress challenge and will be posting once a week. So brace yourselves, lets hope I won’t cook up a tornado, burn the house down, and have to many mental breakdowns over food, writing, writing on food, food on writing moments.

With some luck I will keep you interested and neither of us fall off the plate like that meatball who tumbled into the garden.

Let the noshing commence!!